You may leave your doctor’s office singing a new tune, but most recording artists don’t write about their latest procedures. The majority of songs embracing plastic surgery have fun with the industry and people obsessed with their appearance. That’s OK with us. Once you’ve had your procedure and love your new look, we don’t think you’ll mind laughing about the subject—because you know how good you feel. Nothing complements your new face or your new breasts more than a great sense of humor, something we have in abundance in Atlanta. Now, on to the songs. Drum roll, please…
5. “A Perfect Lie”
The cable TV show called Nip/Tuck used the song “A Perfect Lie” for its theme song. The show, with all its weird twists and sexual overtones, starts out with the words from the song: “Make me beautiful … Perfect soul; perfect mind; perfect face … a perfect lie.” While the show displayed the steamy side of the business, it entertained its viewers with antics from doctors that you’ll never find in your local plastic surgeon’s office. The song “A Perfect Lie,” performed by indie/techno band The Engine Room, repeats its lyrics over and over with a mesmerizing melody that could almost serve as sedation. Almost.
4. “Plastic Surgery Slumber Party”
In 2007, transgender makeup artist and MySpace diva Jeffree Star released “Plastic Surgery Slumber Party.” Considered electro-pop, the song is a self-deprecating account of plastic surgery: “Touch my plastic face and see what happens. I’m hiding from the world behind Chanel sunglasses.” It’s difficult to tell whether he’s sad that he has to undergo cosmetic alterations to look like the woman he wants to be or if he’s just plain depressed: “Plastic parts, broken hearts, masterpiece, scalpel please.”
3. “I Want Some Plastic Surgery for Christmas”
Robert Lund, with song re-writers Spaff, performed a parody of the Gayla Peevey holiday tune, “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” The song, “I Want Some Plastic Surgery for Christmas,” professes to want only the best—and she doesn’t care what you think—as professed in the opening lyrics: “Only major silicone will do. So don’t go and preach that inner-beauty speech; I want some golden bozos that will stun you at the beach.” In the song, the author also laments what women have to do to keep up appearances: “I’ve got no more desires for pads and lifts and wires.”
2. “Plastic Surgery”
English-born Adam Ant, lead singer for the 1980s punk rock band Adam and the Ants, penned a tune about giving advice to a friend following a car accident. He sings that plastic surgery can make things right: “Plastic surgery—it’s so plastic; Plastic surgery—fantastic.” The song continues with a dig on the costs associated with plastic surgery: “Well you might have to sell your car and your parents’ brand new house; You lie awake and lose your sleep; Baby, miracles do not come cheap.”
1. “Like a Surgeon”
“Weird Al” Yankovic may not have specifically targeted plastic surgeons with his little parody of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.” But the irony of the song has grown over time, given Madonna’s ageless face and body … she must have had some help, right? But it surely wasn’t from Weird Al himself. Think of the song as a cautionary tale, with lyrics like: “Like a surgeon, cuttin’ for the very first time. Like a surgeon; here’s a waiver for you to sign.” You know those smart, great-looking celebs choose surgeons with experience who take the time to explain the procedure and have a great safety record.